i think my couch is my best friend

It was sort of an accident you know. We moved this summer and we've spent the past few months settling in to a new life and new routines. As much as I didn't want to move, this one resulted in so many benefits for our family that I did not anticipate. The kids are all thriving in school and we spend a lot more time together. I am so grateful for how easily the kids adjusted and made friends. While we haven't found a church to get connected with, our neighborhood is very friendly and we are working towards friendships here.

I have felt pretty crummy lately though. Overall, things are going great with us. But on a day to day basis, I feel kind of useless. I thought it was just a chronic condition that I already knew about flaring up, but it went on for long enough that I finally went to my doctor to check it out. I am hopeful that they found a solution, a vitamin deficiency, and that the supplement will really help. By the time I saw the doctor, I was going on six weeks of spending my afternoons laying on the couch. I would get the kids to school and do a few things and then I just had to lay down. Looking around at all the things I wanted to do but having no energy to do them was frustrating. Thinking about the future and making plans that I wasn't sure I could execute was frustrating. Having a brain that felt like cotton was frustrating. And wanting to make friends and see people but feeling too overwhelmed by the effort that would take was defeating.

I am hopeful that over the next few weeks this will get better. There are a lot of days that I sit and list all the things I did that day (exercised, got the kids to school, made dinner, did yoga, etc.) so that I can remind myself that I did not actually spend the entire day on the couch. Just a couple hours in the middle. Over the past two years I have had days or a week or so like that, but never this long. It makes me appreciate, more than ever, the times when I feel good. And it certainly gives me a greater empathy for people who do deal with this for weeks and months at a time. Right now my couch might be my best friend, but it won't be like that forever.